what in the hell is ADD my friends say I should act my age..what's my age again?

Twice today Ive heard it said, "if you only paint from inside yourself you will repeat yourself. If you repeat yourself you may as well not paint.."

I have what I like to call the gallery of faces. faces drawn. faces painted. some definable some not. faces faces. how ive struggled to change their expressions. but all i get is weeping or a very strong stare. not a glare. but what I see as being a very definite confident stare..or even a side glance..

Ive been repeating myself. sometimes I feel like Im trying to resolve myself. sometimes I feel like if I could only get this right. as some sort of strange mystic ritual: the painting is me..the living breathing me...and I so desperately want to fix it. Resolve it.

Change it.

oh we are all mad. we creatives. all mad.

we certainly sound it anyway.

I cant tell someone what yellow means; in just the right spot it means a host of things but there isnt a word for it. not in my mind.

you should hear how low the jets are flying. god it freaks me out. can you imagine being in iraq right now. sorry. those bloody jets have been flying over my head all night. so low. they sound like they are going to land here...and I cant get away from it.

I.cant. they cant. I digress.

I have confiscated some choice paper that was used for packing our shipment at work. choice color. texture. very nice. Im always about new surfaces. my brain always wants to take over. I am glad at moments like this. I can say my brain has nothing to offer. Its not anything I can control.

its infinite blessing is..that it controls me.

Ive written this before.

repetition is my theme. my life's theme. repetition. resolution. fixing.

that is all about control isnt it?

I have the day off tomorrow. and its going to 75 degrees!!!!!!!!

wow...i get to bang stuff...

Im helping my step mom tear down a wall. I Cant Wait! Demolition!

and yet another subject change...

ok. I dont know what to do with my hair.

Im about to go Sinead.

for now Im going to smear some gesso on the remnants of a cardboard box.

Peace

Love Command:

Please stop by syncope's diary and show her how much you care..her nanna is seriously ill. She is a precious person, that syncope, and she could use all the love we can give her.

spread the love