Mirror Slide 09
This has been a great experience. Im glad to be leaving the actual area..but I wouldn't trade it.
I came here with relationships intact that had their foundations shaken. Business and Friendship don't always go together. I had no idea that people wanted me to fail...I had no idea that they were jealous of my relationship to my Boss...so much has happened....and I reacted with such a naive intellect.
I saw a documentary about American Cults. Most notably..Jonestown; someone commented that very idealistic people were most likely to fall for very charismatic leaders and would do Anything they were asked due to their very Unrealistic view of Life.
I couldn't help but see myself in that comment. All of my life, and blame this on whatever childhood trauma you like,I have sought an altar on which to lay myself.
I have treated my Bosses, my friends and my boy friends like they were Gods.
Well it's never fun or entertaining to talk about the Ugly Side is it? :)
Im heartbroken...about losing KC as not only my boss...but as my friend...As always..I had to Run Away...because I was basing life decisions on his every living word.
He has had one mission in my life and that was to hold the Mirror.
I asked God for Clarity....so god gave me KC...and the Mirror that he held in front of me...showed me Beauty and Weakness....
it showed me a lifetime of genuine kindness,genuine fear, real life spiritual blindness, residual eating disorder madness, and a grown up .
What are your Values? Do you know how to answer that question?
When I was posed that question...I Honestly couldn't answer!
Now I can.
Because once again....my slate is cleared of any Heroes.
there are no gods in this world
but one.
and at least that god wants to bring peace to humanity.
love
jen
