no one pays the piper

Im ok. Im on the hunt for a new job. I dont know. I have recently had a 1.2 million dollar volume store dropped on my lap and Im freaking out. Christmas is coming you know.

Let me just open up here. I am the most uneducated person that you probably know. In my family...we work our asses off but no one has been to (or finished in my case) college.

Never have I felt it more than now. It is entirely my fault. My lack of motivation that has kept me from actually getting A Skill..so I can have more of the life i want to have.

The only difference now being....is that I want change more than I want to Not Take a Risk.

I need your compassion for a second. Im sure you did it all right...and now you are harvesting the rewards. Or maybe you did it all right...and you still aren't where you want to be. Either way....what really matters is...how well you stand when the floods come.

Im judging myself with an iron clad fist. I am just melting down right now.

I may have another hot position of good repute in a big bookstore...we will see what happens. I can tell you...that I am so hungry for fulfillment.

And I still have no clue where I am going to find it unless I change.

Something about me has to change. Adjust. so I can be happy.

Everyone be well

Peace