4 west nurse's station
My family is trying to drive me even more crazy than I allready am.
My mother is refusing to go to bremerton (washington state) to see her sister. The condition of whom is still up in the air. no one is telling me anything. No one is coming right out and saying a word.
My cousin is about to lose his mom...my uncle anton and my cousin Aarron have gone on ahead. And I cant fathom any of this.
Im not clear on a damn thing. I havent been able to actually call my aunt because she is knocked out and has tubes in her throat. does she have a year? does she have an hour? why wont my mom get on a plane and go see her?
Im not really sure. My entire family should be rallying to get there. But no one is. Ive told my mom to let me know as soon as she is ready so I can book her a flight.
I dont think she wants to watch this happen. she was with my nanna when she passed and I think she is a tad freaked out.
Im a tad freaked out. Im a tad overwhelmed by all of it. My family is so Fragmented.
And it feels Normal until something like this happens. Then it feels odd to be this....splintered.
this is when I tell you that this is how my family is and thats the way it has always been. A bunch of silent keep it all to yourselfers.
Anyway. I think my aunt is a tremendous woman. She served in the peace corps and she managed to teach irrigation to tribes in costa rica. She suffered from polio as a child and later on learned to make her own shoes...so she could have a pair that fit right.
there is so much more to her. so much I dont have words for. She is passionate...and focused. She loves deeply and is always trying to connect. I have never been out there to the west to see her and to think that now I may have to go and watch her go....
seems unreal to me.
there is probably someone that you really like...really love...really want to get to know better...
pardon the cliche...but..do it now...dont hold back...reach out and touch their hand when you feel it...and tell them all the beauty that you see..
when you look at them.
love and peace
Jen
