I need Technical Support

after listening to her talk..I realized..Im always one step behind..always one move away from losing...because my mind is losing hiding places...

I am enthralled by this turn of events. I am beguiled by my blindness and lack of charm. People shouldn't play games with eachother. but we say this knowing full well that life led with no respect for how others feel is rife with games. games of power. I used to say that power is a myth. Power is merely an Idea..or a Sense...an Illusion really. For when one rises...one must bank on falling. But now I don't know. Now I think there is no place in this world for anyone that plays it straight. The power...is for the players. and this is their playground.

playgrounds. playgrounds.

swinging. swinging. cold air stinging my ears. I remember laying back as my hands gripped those metal chains...and I never closed my eyes...I looked straight up into the sky...and the blue of the sky the weeping backdrop of limbs covered in the orange of the leaves...Pierced me. Pierced my mourning. Pierced my lack of feeling. Thrillseeking I never was. Ive never jumped off of a moving swing. I.just.slowed.down. I saw the bellies of the birds...and they flew in slow motion...for me.

Im a stranded thread on a hill of multi-colored stranded threads...so small...we hide behind the dust.

I want for my future..no more war (but with peace there is war)

I want for my future nothing but joy (but where there is joy there is sorrow)

I want for my future a pride that is not false(but where there is pride there is humility)

I just want to look myself in the eye and know that I won't fail.

of course. I know. yes. I see.

I want to be able to hold it together when I fall in love.

Im watching Vanilla Sky...its so trippy...and Ive never really liked this movie...like..all the way around..but..now...I really like it..mad brilliant.

so my rambeling is done.

I need Technical Support.

Peace