swampland of desire

Thanks to TB and Mr. TB for a smooth night out. Plenty of wine and good food and good conversation. They threw us out of the place. We're hopeless chatter boxes..they want me to move to california.

I wonder about it all the time. I think Im waiting to see if He will ever call me one day and tell me He loves me or that He is getting married. Maybe I will call him up one day and say I Love You...but I doubt I ever could...

Instant Message:

T just told me he is getting Married!!!!! He rocks..he is totally cool..Im so happy for him! He is working on his masters in C-ville...so he said they are planning to get married after school..which is about a year and half..Awesome! He's just precious.

I never thought I'd be soooo southern that I call people or things Precious (myyy preciousss) but I am. good lord.

oh and one more thing that I just want get myself on record saying:

This Average Joe thing? I want the Huskiest Guy to win. Because then..there will be this surge in women finding good men who happen to be Big Boys..and then More people will hook up and more people will be happy...all because Pop Culture decided to Recognize the Beauty Of The Human Being. That is my hope anyway...someone told me yesterday Im viciously idealistic and that I need to give it up...

easier said than done my friend.

School:

There is a school in Richmond that is on the Sallie Mae list of approved schools....Richmond is pretty cool. Rent is out of this world (for shite-holes none the less)So...Im trying to figure out how I could manage to make it all work...provided I even get accepted etc etc.

There are always choices. And lucky for me...I can still choose.

I need money. money for me. money to get more and more independent. Independence for my self esteem..self esteem for love baby. and my mom my mom my mom.

If I had a Zillion Dollars I would Have The Following: A Charity Hockey League,My Fund Raising Punk Rock Cover Band (Rent Party),My Independent Film "A Question of Worth" (about the situation of the Elderly,Veterans,Urban and Mountain Families and the alleged Shame relagated to Poor people in American Culture)aaannnd...hmmm...a big house with a recording studio and a state of the art editing room....aaannnd...I want a boat...and one of those Hybrid Cars....I think that's it.

And of course you can come and stay...for as long as you want..everyone is invited. :)

Imagination. Imagination. Dreaming Dreaming Dreaming

Love to you all

Happiness and the fullness of Joy to you all

Peace

Jen