My Love for you is like this scar...ugly but permanent

JL is getting his M.S.W (masters in social work). And he wants to work with children..which btw..he is perfect for.

I was at work today and I felt like a caseworker...

Only I had no tools. No idea what to say. No Resources. A girl at work pulls me aside after showing up 2 hours late to tell me that she is suffering from a severe depression. She starts crying. I pull her to the back room..."Im so lonely..." she tells me...visibly shaken.

She is on her own. all alone. Her father calls her on the phone and calls her names. calls her fat ass. calls her fat bitch. that would explain the day she was on her cell phone and in tears as she left for home one night. She is slowly working on her g.e.d (like if you don't have a highschool diploma). She is working maybe 20 hours a week at the Job.

she says she wants hope for a future..instead of thinking she is better off dead.

I tell her about Pastoral Counseling...cheaper because they base it on your income...or maybe they won't charge her at all.

seems so fucking stupid. seems so shitty to tell someone that. Im so sorry that you are so depressed you can't get out of bed. Im so sorry you can't eat or drink so you end up in the emergency room hooked up to an IV for four hours because you are dehydrated. Call This Number.

what the Fuck?

I don't believe that god has to grant her a miracle. I believe that God can do whatever he/she wishes. that might mean a life of poverty and suffering. of desperation. That is Life. From the Old Testament On...From Before The Dawn of Human History....Life is as it is...slightly more carniverous for some than it is for others.

so of this path she walks...

Faith. Faith. Believe. She has to Believe. She has to get help. It is beyond Anyone Else. It is her burden.

There is no swift solution so I add her to a list of names. a page in a book that I hope God sees.

What we see. says who we are.

I read about a native american artist once that talked about a tradition in his tribe (which I don't remember);he said it was every young person's responsiblity to go to the woods to get their eyes...to see what life would have them see for the rest of their lives. He said when he emerged...he began to see Bones everywhere...so that is what his art is made of. Human and animal bones.

What we see says who we are.

I don't know how to wrap that up. so Im just going to go on to the next thing....

Tonight I was watching PBS whilst the laundry was laundering and there was a great documentary on about Mecca. If you are even in the least bit curious about Islam Karen Armstrong's book on the subject is excellent! Anyway.

It was very moving. I was particularly touched as They Stood The Arafat..which is when they petition God for Absolution and Thank Him/her for all of his/her blessings. It is a very personal time...and watching people weep as they prayed..moved me to tears myself.

God must be the center of my intentions. for the glory of god not for the glory of myself. not to the detriment of myself.

If we open up to love...love is waiting in abundance.

Love is waiting for You in Abundance.

Love and Peace

Jen