urgent urgent......foreigner knew just what to say..

I decided not to wait another day or so...so I went to the urgent care clinic. without any tests being run or anything I walked out with a ...Paper Bag...like medium lunch size...full of drug samples...Written on the bag..were my instructions. This for pain...this for that ...blah blah blah.

if anyone wants to party...I think I have muscle relaxers.

I dont know what to do with surreal days like today.

I am feeling a little better after talking to my step mom and my bro D (who is diabetic)....they even hooked me up with some numbers of some really cool doctors.

Im obsessive about how care givers treat people...I work everday in the business of establishing trust and giving reassurance....and it astounds me that ....Doctors and Nurses...can't seem to fine One Ounce of Overt compassion. but. maybe Im judging and I need to get over it.

I took some meds so now my pain is dulled and Ive slept on and off. so for now its meds fluids and sleep.

I am ok. Its not as bad as I thought. Ive never been so freaked out about my health before. something. is. not. right. with. me. I think Im tired of feeling lousy. I think Ive had my fill of this insular existence.

I think my body was trying to awaken me. I believe that,events,no matter how apparently insignificant,are inexplicably connected.ie. If you can't find your keys for 10 minutes...perhaps you just missed a car accident. be thankful for the mishaps. the journeys to the urgent care office. what you learn is the miracle.

ok. i know. enough.

I love all of you and I thank you for your good vibes

Peace

Hugs

bag o drugs

:)