men without hats get wet in the rain

the same thing must apply to journaling. Im only writing from the inside. Im only living from the inside.

so Im repeating myself.

In every conceivable way.

today I feel a lack of personality. today I see how easy it is to allow myself to be cast aside. and..that it really isnt a big deal.

I just want to live quietly. so no more pandora's hat boxes for me...I'll wear my hair uncovered...so as not to try to delude myself into believing that the switching of hats will one day change me.

this is it. what you see is what you get. and if you don't play fair I'll walk away.

I feel like running away..as if i had something to run from.. god today I feel so strange. not Sad. No. Not depressed..no way..just...like...

I was driving home and as the orange sun bathed me and the other drivers I had this thought: what if everday has been but a subtraction from the final one hundred days you have left to live? I can tell you I would absolutely live differently. I would have been better with people. I would have been motivated. I would never have wasted a moment on What If. I would smile and laugh through the oddest of rejections. I would never have wasted a moment on people that didn't truly care for me.

I feel like Im missing something. something vital. something simple and yet very key.

or maybe Im seeing it. and I have no name for it. well anyway...my day was 10.5 hours long and Im Starving..so off to feast...

Love and Peace