basement maps and no flashlight

I dont know. Its been a wierd couple of days. like Im grieving. I can only think that is my soul struggeling to breathe. I have buried her so far down..she is crawling up...quietly asking me to take a look at what Ive done to her....

halfsorry pass the Shiraz

she has written the most beautiful entry. this is about the love that saves us...I think. I can feel this entry...

and refluence is right. tv rots the brain. that and pepsi cola...

I had a dream that JL told me that he was practicaly married to the girl in richmond...of course he is practicaly married to someone...some one wonderfully open and brave...someone smart...he will be wonderful husband and father...it will be within one year...I think I have dreamt that before...Im usually right about these things...I can always tell when people are getting married...

I always knew he wasnt going to marry me. gasp. gasp. gasp. breathe soul breathe.

Im not sure. I dont really know where Im going. I have my heart in my hand. heart comes from a word meaning Intent.

So when we say I Love You with all of my Heart....we are saying..I Love you with all of my Intent....all of my Intentions.....all of my Will.

I have my will in my hand...pumping naked on my sleeve. what is it that I wish for? when I light this rocket where am i going?

what are my Intentions?

"nothing can be as disappointing as a mistake that never ends..." halfsorry

I have taken my will from the cellar...

Peace

Hugs

Love