Time Sabattical

Hi...how is everything? I feel one zillion miles away today. I have emails I need to write. I build connections then I let them sit by the window..until they fall away..like my plant...10 year old Phil. I have gracefully allowed him to die. I feel horrid. Its like it happened in front of me but not. He has always bounced back from a way over due re-potting. But. time is up. Phil is dead. so much lost this weekend.

my watch stopped too. I think it's just on a sabbatical. it does that. 6 months from now..I will open the jewelry box that my cousin K gave me...and it will be ticking again...ticking in perfect syncopation with the hour.

Add to that the odd noises the vehicle has been making as of late. Dreams of my face altering on the right side. Dreams of being arrested Matrix style. Dreams of phone calls from people I know but have no idea how. telling me things in voices that are akin to Brain Eno's tonal creations....strange things my soul seems to be spelling out for me....all mysteries. Omens.Change is coming...only this next shift in my life..will be carefully taken advantage of. You know what I mean?

oh yeah.... my ex never sent me my cds. which means I have to order them again. and I dont know when Ill have 30 bucks to spend on music again. Yeah. Im the last person on earth that still pays for cds. god I suck. If any of you want to go throw eggs at his mail box I wouldnt stop you. well. maybe not eggs maybe just leave him some velveeta in there. :) Im sans new music. Im going to die. Im going to die I tell you.

re: Shuttle Accident

The following Diarists have written amazing entries on this topic:

supercilious

floodtide

seastreet

bmi

pandionna

I just want to say in my less than articulate voice that I mourn the loss of the astronauts. Im sickened by what the media will do. but. they always sicken me. One reporter commented on NPR to another reporter..that..the media always seems hungry to add to this Shutting down mentality. Lets burn the books so to speak. I agree.

since I was a young thing..Ive been mildly obsessed with the sky and its inhabitants. Fed eagerly by my mother and father's mild obsession..star gazing and planet spotting..is still something I do. every night. without fail. I was the geek who couln't wait until the Planetarium trip every year at school. god. it was the coolest. he would zoom the planets on the ceiling and make them look HUGE..I think that dude rocked. he was probably about 22 years old..and how he must've loved to hear us react. right on.

I have been a Nasa supporter ever since. My father had Rockets that we would take to the resevoir in upstate ny..the apollo 13...every rocket nasa ever sent up...he had a model of..and we would send them Shooting Up...there were mishaps...

there always will be. anyway.

Im not feeling this writing thing today. Im very sad they lost their lives. I think its horrible. but I dont want to tie the program to the post and set it on fire...screaming devil die.

there is so much in my head. and I have no words today.

syncope's guest book wont let me post to it. ive talked nicely to it. but still it refuses. so Ill just say it here...you are lovely..stunning...warm..beautiful. there. ha ha ha. one up on you guest book!

and to januaryfiend the best I can do is cyber send you this bottle of whiskey. its all yours dear. you have earned it.

I love all of you

Peace