One More Blah Blah Blah

Im really getting down. Im feeling pretty crappy.

Im trying really hard to believe that I can break through and find a career that suits me.

but I get these awful thoughts...that I am too stupid. that I am too crazy. That I am just useless. And that I am genetically pre-disposed to being a complete loser.

Prozac won't fix it. Nothing could fix it. what If I am hopeless.

Everyone I know is brilliant. smart. captivating.

I feel like an idiot right this second. An Idiot.

Ive just never known where I am going. I never had a plan.

Im so scared. but Im more scared of what fear has done to me.

It has crippled me.

My mother let that happen to her....Now Look At Her.

The only thought I have in my head that is keeping pace with the Negatives is this: In all thy ways aknowledge him and he shall direct thy paths.

Him. Her. It. Whatever. What does that verse really mean?

In all they WAys. in all thy ways.

It takes a remarkable amount of courage to live doesn't it? to Feel like You Know What you are doing.

My skills are marketable. I know I need to go to school. but.

Oh whatever. This is a pity party.

I guess....having realized that the spot in the sand where I have kept my head...has robbed me of critical oxygen...

I want out.

And it is going to take alot of time.

Im ok.

Im done whining.

:)

hug somebody...ok? (even if its your birdy or dog or cat or goldfish)

love and peacers

mopey