Evolution Symbol
seven years ago. My nieces and nephews were adorably young and its astounding to me....how grown up they are now. my little gems those sweeties.
cut to footage my mom included on the tape from new york...
My mom looks healthy and happier and my grandma...my sweet Evelynia (as we called her sometimes) was more lucid and she was working the video camera....cracking jokes...and laughing. My mom is so beautiful. She was always so beautiful.
That is heartbreaking and Wonderful to see...and hear...their voices...their images...a stark comparison to the present.
cut back to wedding ...
Me. wow. worst possible relationship. and you can tell. He (the drummer) and I are barely connecting. I looked so great...and thought I was a hideous monster. 8 months later the trolling through existential mud will have broken me completely....and I nearly lost my very life.
So here I am. 7 years older. 7 years wiser? Maybe? Still bearing scars that I have no intention of hiding. as if I could anyway. Just like that tattoo. It was the final day. The last hour. We got our tattoos and he took me to dinner. and goodbye was goodbye. Marked forever. The Evolution Symbol of my Survival.
(the word peace in japanese kanji)
You have no idea just how great it feels to be able to look back and see that I made it. at least in my own way.
to hope for a tremendous future for myself.
keep your chins up....hang on...
it all works out in the end.
Peace
