Sacrifice

Today has been a flurry of stress and I haven't even made it to work yet.

My brother called to tell me that my mother and he had a fight whilst in Georgia; the outcome of this fight was my mother driving off to god knows where. I have no clue where she is. My mom and dad both have Anxiety problems...this tends to make them very Agressive at times. The fact that my mom feels pretty powerless doesn't help matters. I applaud my brother for even trying to help her. She and My other brother used to beat J up pretty badly after my father left.

Her own problems are so big. I was really hoping she would be able to mend things with J...but...to no avail. She is a human being cornered. She has no money. She has not a sound thought in her head. Please pray for her. Pray that she is safe.

MOM. where in the heck are YOU?

My father and step mom are fighting because they can't agree on who should help them paint his home office. no lies there. This can't be a real problem can it???

Give me a roller and shut it. I love you but shut it.

And then....man...floodtide..have I ever told you how much I love you? Have i told you what a good force you have been in my life? Have I told you that today I cried because Id miss you so much? You've been so supportive and uplifting. You have mended wounds of my youth with your clear and sensitive understanding of young people. Your relationship gives me hope that Love is worth it all...you have given me hope for life. I think that you are an extraordinary man and that all that know you have been extremely blessed. I will keep you and your husband continually in my thoughts and prayers...you are ever in my heart.

Love YOU

In other news thats not so happy

My niece V is having a tough time again. My brother D told me that she was begging for clothes to wear while she is at her Mom's house because her mother got rid of all of her clothes that were there. For no Good Reason WhatsoEver. My bro D pays child support despite the fact that he is the prime custodial parent (she is with him most of the time etc) yet none of that money ever reaches my niece.

I did something I havent ever done this morning. I waved my arms up at the ceiling and addressed God outloud. I said. "Where Are YOU?" It wasn't praise. It wasn't humility. It was the suffering of this child. My missing mother. It was Russian Children. It was Chinese teenagers killing themselves because they don't have the $85 it takes to go to Uni.

It was every burden of the world. It was Jesus on the cross asking his father the same question as he bled and died slowly....baring the weight of every human pain.

Where have you gone Father? Why have you abandoned the Innocent Ones? Will it always be The Sacrifice that Cleanses Our Sin?

Sin. It's not what you think you know. It is the consequence of our self over the other. The moment over the future. It is the hurt we cause to others.

So yes Flood....I see why you have to go. Because Sacrifice is What Saves Love. It is the rich soil upon which....Tomorrow grows.

I Love you all....

Peace