Dear Andy Warhol

the canvas is brown. like the old couch your mom still has. brown like that. his expression..seen from this crude rendering of a profile...is stoic. concentrated. all you see...the brown wall. the stoic expression. and the yellow shirt.

its something you look at. something you sit across from. and do you wonder what is going on there or do you just see it...glance at it and walk away?

I paint like a photographer. ever since I was a kid I used to stare and stare at moments all ready frozen. my mother took a picture of me when I was 4. a picture of me gazing into a photograph that I was holding. she said ...she thinks I was creating a story for that photo.

I wish I could remember what the picture was and even more ..what the story was.

I don't paint very well. really. no. but its an outlet. since words fail me. and I have no musical instrument. paint and canvas is all i have.

would i call a rush of ideas creativity or mania? is mania the food of creativity or is the repression of creativity the cause of mania?

why do we like the art that we like? what is it that you go for? the technical? the emotion it evokes? how much you relate to it? or how it might educate you?

maybe its all of this.

I am a compulsive escaper.

that is part of it too. only to escape into reality made into something more digestable? something bolder than me?

my words and opinions and feelings spread out and smoothed with synthetic bristles on cardboard.

up close I wonder about myself. that is next. a big up close self portrait. Ive always wanted to post a picture of myself. a picture undoctored that shows you my bad skin uncovered. or my hair de-gooed all frizzy. because that is what is really there.

Like Andy Warhol showing his scars. showing his mutilations. because sometimes that is all I want anyone to see...

me uncovered. I want to relax. I want to stop hiding. stop running. stop escaping. stop pimping my personality out to the highest applauder.

Im hopeful one of these days that I will have the nerve to show you all what my art looks like.

and I still owe one to exhaust but you know her birthday is coming up...so hmmm...

:)

I think I will drink my soy smoothie and spend the rest of the day quietly observing people from the remote corners of a bar or restaraunt.

Im not in any mood to talk.

Everyone Be well

Peace