Open Mind-Insert Words

I'm a creep. What the hell am I doing here? I don't belong here.

Babylon-

What to say about today. The song on the radio was Creep. I feel like a creep for not helping B at her store...she doesn't believe that my car is making a noise...an Expensive one..there's no way I'm driving an hour each way in my car...but still..I feel like a creep. She has helped out plenty of times.

Then I watched Nova on pbs which was all about an airplane crash...that totally creeped me out.

My bro D called...his gf was in the backround talking...but he said he couldn't tell me who (or is it whom?) and he hung up...he sounded tired...worn out..weird.

After he hung up....an out of area person called...called again..then hung up. then called again. And I had the weirdest creepiest feeling...like something dangerous had just happened.

But I'm sure it's just because I watched Nova tonight (swiss air flight 111)... and because my brother is acting strange..and it worries me to death...sigh.

On a nice note: My lovely friends at the coffee shop sent Justin over with a box full of goodies yesterday. I was off but it was still so sweet of them!!!! I went looking for Justin to thank him today but he wasn't there....so tomorrow morning it is. :)

They are lovely people...always so sweet,patient,and fun. I love them! I think I'm as addicted to them as I am to the Emperor's Tea :)

and oh yeah...

Today was the first day I worked without any kind of brace or wrist guard or anything....it felt great. I finally didn't feel useless..for the first time in three months.

This gets mundane. mondane. how do you spell that word?

Listing the details of my day.

woke up.

walked the dog.

had tea.

had kashi.

showered.

did my hair.

mascara.

foundation.

got dressed.

put on my shoes.

checked my hair one more time.

grabbed my bag.

grabbed my lunch bag.

threw in my lunch.

kissed the dog.

walked out.

drove.

It's just details. small details. We are surrounded by eachother's details.

I am the insignificant nuance. We...are like atoms.

atoms have a graceful existence. Atoms pursue creation.

atoms making energy. making cells. making life. being born. dieing. suffering. laughing. running. sighing. walking.

thinking.

living.

it feels routine and ordinary.

but it is truly textured.

without you. the you that is all. the you that is 85 years old living in a shanty in alabama. the you that is reading this.....whose eyes I wish I could see...

The walk you take from the door to the train: the audible-ness of it. The sound of your breathing.

The stranger-ness of you. Silently pacing...without you there is no creation.

Specific. Minute. When you scratched your head just then.

There is grace and there is depth....everywhere around you.

floodtide could use a hug. please stop by and give him one...

all we need is love

Peace