T

There is a cycle. T calls when he loses his girlfriends.He calls when I lose my boyfriends...almost psychicly..he knows when Im down and lonesome. He calls because he thinks I will lovingly tend to his "needs" whilst his gf finds herself. We've never once slept together. nope. not once. never even kissed. but he did do something genuinely wonderful for me once....he is responsible for introducing me to the book The Alchemist by Paulo Coehlo...which is My Favorite Book. Once,in exchange for a painting I did for him,he read the Entire book for me and recorded it. It was the single most amazing gesture ever...and I still have the tapes...two of them. He messaged me tonight. He comes out of nowhere when Im feeling so alone. When Im feeling as if I will never have love in my life. He comes seeking,offering,sex and good company. And I can never take him up on it. Im not for sale. Nor am I a pitstop. Its tempting. sure it is. Who wouldn't want to feel that? kisses,embraces,intensity.....it would be great ...it would Feel Great...but it would be like a shot of tequila on a friday night..it would be perfect...it would feel good...i would be absent from my loneliness...for as long as it took me to drink it. its not that I doubt that T cares for me...as friends do...he would never want to hurt me. But...my heart...my soul...my body...are all one thing...

and I have respect for all three of them...

all of them instruments.

There has to be something here worth holding onto...

love and peace to all

special love to diarists on sabattical...these women are my dearest loves....my heroes (well you all are and you know that)

the29th,exhaust,and syncope

I Love you girls........absolutely do...

Jen