Listen to me

Words escape me. Frustration,guilt,and anger are in my bed,my heart,my mind,my body.

My brother wants me to watch my niece this weekend,My mom is going to be here in two days,Im supposed to have a truck rented and a storage facility secured within those two days..all the while I'll be working another seven day stretch.

My life is in so much need of alteration it is unfathomable. I feel horrible guilt in regards to my Mom. If she were a stranger I would've laid down my life allready. I don't know what is wrong with me. I seriously don't. I'd Give...Give..my soul away for anyone else.

but not her. I feel like the biggest hypocrite. I feel like a phony. Like every word Ive ever spoken in genuine love and concern for Anyone...was just garbage.

I don't want to rule the world. I want the fortitude to do the things I believe in. To Help those that Need it. To Be strong enough to REally Be That Person....I really so desperately Long To Be.

I wish my worst problems right now were as follows:

1. too many boats

2. too many cabana boys

3. too much love

4. too many healing powers

5. too much superior acting talent

6. too much sex

7. too many parties at my sky lab loft on Venus

I feel like Im standing over my sleeping body...afraid of giving that one kiss...that will awaken me..

I really do care so much for all of you

Peace