I want to cry the tears of the well lived
Im so not good at relationships. In fact. Im the Anti-relationship. Im a mess. But I wont tell you why no. there's no reason to.
Its just that when you thought at first...fate brought him to you. and then you realized that he really might like you. and bam. you just want to see him all the time. then you freak out. suddenly...everything gets scarey...and you have this person's heart in your hands. And his heart is bound to figure out...that you are less than the minimum. His heart in your hands...
And what do you do with it? how do you keep it safe whilst your heart swings amidst imaginary daggers?
Thats where I start to fall apart. I just cave in. I start looking for the exit.....how do you hold onto love--something you actually Fear---why do I always throw everything into the fire?
oh love you are so hard to believe in...you are so hard to understand. you are in no way....the finite healer you say will be.
He's the easiest person in the world to talk to......and I coudlnt talk to him.
so I talked to my friend Brett.and cried like a girl for being an idiot and he reminded me that life goes on.
you know when I was born...I was silent.
i live my life in a wretched silence; digging through the soul of the world...building walls of safety.
but...
safety is the biggest myth in the universe.
I am intense. I am in need. I am in love -amy ray
i need to lighten up and live my life...
the babbellling is over now
thank you very much
Peace
