Blabbah...
today I was supposed to be in Queens. But I'm not. I'm here in Va sitting at the puter...listening to my niece play barbies across the hall...
and my dog is snoring so loudly...that I keep laughing which makes my niece laugh which totally defeats the purpose of her being in bed.
Life has been kinda crazy for the past few weeks. I need more wonderful things to just pop out of the sky like that. Like a trip to columbus. or three days off from work in a row.
Things feel fast. Things feel like pebbles running through my hands like water through a faucet...set on high.
I go away from Dland for a few days and find out that a friend is going through something heartbreaking and yet its....good..yet it leaves its scars...
L and I talked about it in Ohio. Staying together....for any reason..when you know its ...fallen apart...is worse..than just letting go.
My mom would argue with that. But I agree with it. As much as I loathe divorce...It is necessary. The year leading up to my father leaving..was one of the worst years of my life.
It was Horrid. Like living in a tube of compressed air and never being able to take a breath.
It was a blissfully Painful experience once my father left home. How can you feel so good and so bad at the same time was the question I kept asking myself.
Life goes on. And if it is in fact...Life...that you are living...it is your choice..whether to let go and liberate yourself and others....Or...you choose to live in bondage..thereby...chaining everyone else to the wall.
Anyway.
Dear T...I love you more than you will ever know. And I know that you will land on your feet.
How am I? Working alot. no news there. My mom is in crisis. And Ive put on so much weight lately...that I feel like the inflated Michelen man I saw today.
I have a long entry Id like to write about how I went from being bulimic to just being a binger that wishes she could still purge....
but I won't. I'll just keep that to myself.
ahem.
Tomorrow,hopefully, will be the Seafood Festival...Art and funnel cake people....amen and amen
Love to all of you
all my heart
Jen
