You wouldn't understand...

There is still a divide in my mind. A chasm between "the world" and what it offers me...and God and what he/she offers me. Im not talking about Promises of no suffering or promises of monetary abundance. But a promise of love.

It is nothing I can put my hands on. It is nothing I can sufficiently explain. But it keeps me right when I want go full throttle into life's darkness.

Im a fitfull sleeper. Im the same everyday in my life. I am poised..arms raised up in defense...

and all I need to remember is that I want to be an instrument.

I keep forgetting.

peace