Iyanu

I should update..tell you how Im doing..spread good tidings..bring light into your darkness...or at the very least just tell you...that Im worried that Im not well but I've put off going to the doctor and Ive been over re-acting to every little mis-hap I happen to have and Ive been told three times this week..that.."I thought you were mad" or "I thought you didn't like me" or "You seem so upset and serious all the time"

I wish sometimes that people I work with were Totally Impervious to anything I say or do...because sometimes..they just have no sense..and I get so frustrated with them..that I have to hold back a thousand tremors of frustration just to talk to them...and It all goes wrong...If I were lost..I wouldn't be learning..If the soul of another truly meant nothing...then I wouldn't want to change....so when I fade from their view..and they look back...they see something good...something that went the other way...

does this make sense to you?

probably not. nothing I seem to do ever does.

This has been a tough week anyway...a long sixty hour work week..

I can't wait to get out of this hole I have dug for myself.

Im going to post this. as much as my ego wants me to delete it or lock it up.

because Im perfect in your eyes aren't I? (insert sarcastic grin here please)

someone come over and curl up with me and watch tv with me until I fall asleep...please ask nothing of me...demand nothing...but that I relax and lean into you...

someone come over and let me be me...

Hugs

peace