Im slipping into wonder

feeling like I have failed You,

and a host of other people in my life. and distant. and . I am not worth glory. but I want it.

and I met a 22 year old with cancer.

and my father told me Im a dissapointment.

and my next day off is next friday.

I can't let go. of anything.

(refer to Ferris Bueller's Day off and Ferris' comment about coal,Cameron,and a diamond)

I was so pumped full of adrenaline today. I didn't realize how tired and hungry I was until we closed. I almost passed out.

I was at work all alone for hours.

my staff sucks and Im getting ready to take care of that situation.

so much poetry has been slaughtered by my fatigue.

Im sorry to the world for being no better.

Im sorry to the small gods of wonder...that I am just a speck of something (something original..something kind...something untrusting and captivating..something wrong and right)

If I had a relationship. would it survive me being Me?

answer me people. tuck me in.

wrap yourselves around me. I will share the blanket. I promise...

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

peace