Hustle and Flow

id like to think that Im some kind of superhero. secretly..I wish...I was the answer to everyone's problems. I would live quietly in the shadows--calm and disconnected--watching cnn in the morning and drinking my coffee.

"Tsunami stopped...it's a mystery" the swanky reporter would say..and id beam with pride. Id look myself in the eye everyday. And Id like me. I would have purpose.

Id leave love letters to lonely people..just so they would feel better. Id be perfect. perfectly courageos. I would hold within my soul every sound of grief...so no one else would have to hear it.

Id have every answer all the time for every question. Id know what to do. Id make perfect soup and grilled cheese sandwithces..people would travel to my backyard just for the Lemonade in the summer.

I would never fail anyone. I would never hurt anyone. I would never live a life that doesn't make me happy.

id be smart. a smart super powered sexy god.

Id be living the life that makes me happy. Truly. really. Id have the people that I desire close to me...close to me. id have the Boss I want... the role in my career that I want...

People look outside of themselves for answers...for miracles..all the time. It isn't wrong. unhealthy or strange.

But the only god or hero we have is ourselves.

Yes. me. The Shiva. Lord of Transformation and death....

I must rescue myself...from living an intangible life.

I want to feel the wind stretch through me as I fly to save myself from the burning building that I lit with my own gutteral spit fire.

Part of being older...ick what a concept..anyway...part of being older is knowing yourself...your clues...your gifts...etc.

had i listened. had I been leaning on me and not anyone else.....id be moving to work on a beach...live on a beach..and Id have the Boss of my Dreams.

i left myself outside of the decision.

now Ive lost a friend's respect as well as my own.

Shiva means the One who is eternally pure, or the One who can never have any contamination of imperfection

How much easier would it be...........If all I to do everyday........was Save the World...Instead of myself.