Kathleen my sweet sweet ember
tonight isn't that night.
I got a call late late friday night that my aunt passed away. and even though I knew that she was ill..I was in some cloud nine someplace thinking that she would be ok. like K's mom who has had lymphoma for over six years and is still here. she is still working and living.
my aunt had her cancer for at least ...five years...she's lucky she lived so long. she held on pretty good until her son Aarron passed. and then my grandma passed. she didn't look right when I saw her for grandma's funeral. but I turned a blind eye. I didn't want to know that she was sick.
whatever. she'd be pretty pissed off to know that that is what Im telling you about her. yeah. she was something else. full of life.
Full of Fight. my cousing Aarron had severe cerebral palsey; doctors said that he wouldn't live past three years old (this was back in 1972) but he lived to be 29. She lived and breathed for him....made incredible strides for people in his condition....proving that Love and Attention and Physical Contact....as well as a holistic (meaning organic) approach to health care can pro-long as well as improve the quality of--Life.
She fought for Life. She was in the peace corps..and found it challenging and life altering. She warned me never to do it...because of alot of red-tape bullshit. her advice was to help those in need around you. help those that are in your life..or those that are brought into your path (lately---there have been so many Im overwhelmed). It was good advice.
She could see me. Which was something that always suprised me. she saw into me and knew that we were kindred spirits. But Im not half the woman she was. She held onto that fire. She fought for it. Did I tell you that she had polio?
Yeah. she spent the first four years of her life in a hospital. Not fun huh? no.not at all. and I think she was pretty unhappy to die in one.
But that is the death thing again. And. she doesn't want me talking about that. She was colorful and creative. Loved art and beauty. She believed that the universe and our beings are all one Energy.
She was beautiful. Lovely. small but very mighty.
She was a real deal hippie. my dad used to say that her and my uncle anton were the smelliest people....you know..no baths...no deoderant...etc...it drove him crazy.
I think its kind of funny. I mean. my dad was a white collar hippie...he ate weed brownies while he worked and drank highballs (8 balls?) after work. At least Uncle Anton and Aunt Kathleen didnt believe in drugs. so what if they smelled. she loved to braid my hair and he made kick ass french fries.
there was love in their lives. until they divorced...even after they divorced. uncle anton brought my cousin Karl to see us once when I was about 8. Kathleen and Anton were thinking about getting back together and my uncle died in a car accident on his way back. Luckily Karl wasn't with him....but it was quite a big blow for my aunt and her family.
My cousin Karl is the most loving and wonderful person on the planet. seriously.
and my heart is broken for him. because his entire family has gone on before him.
love cling to love. keep love close. don't take it for granted. reach out and swallow your pride.
let love rule. not fear. it sucks.
I will miss her. I feel a pain that I dont want to feel.
i need your love people. i need it in big big helpings.
love you all so much
Peace
jen
